


The Apartment

by obsessions123



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky saves the day, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hints of Rape, Lots of Angst, Smut, a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 08:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21296831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessions123/pseuds/obsessions123
Summary: This takes place in Bucharest where Bucky has been hiding out in that crappy apartment shown in CACW which is what inspired me to write this.  Angie also lives in that apartment building, right next door to Bucky.  "There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.  You don't have to get over it, but you can move on from it."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this chapter the main character is about to get raped. Nothing actually happens but I just want to let it be known in case that is triggering for anyone.

Her goal was to get out of there. She couldn’t afford much else at the time which is why she’d had to settle. She wanted to buy a home eventually, once she finished getting her bachelor’s degree and get hired doing what she loved, she wanted to move to the suburbs and live the simple life. For now though, while she took classes and worked as a receptionist at a spa to sustain herself, she lived in probably the crappiest apartment building in the entire city. It was in a bad part of the neighborhood too so she never felt totally safe. She hated that she couldn’t afford much else, but she was trying to get through college without any loans so all of the money went towards her schooling.

It hadn’t always been this way, she used to live at home with her dad until he was killed. He had been an accountant for Shield where he was killed when Captain America exposed Hydra for whispering in Shield’s ear. He had simply been caught in the crossfire. She had already been 18 when he was killed so she was forced to do things on her own. She had sold the house they lived in and most of her things. She got a storage unit for all of his stuff because she couldn’t bare to throw anything that reminded her of him away. She had a huge chunk of change in the bank due to his life insurance but she didn’t want to touch that. Even though she could be living in a much nicer place than this, she could manage with what she did for herself. She wanted to save his money for something big. She didn’t know what but she figured she’d know when the opportunity presented itself.

Now, she is 21 and all on her own. She had made friends and gotten her life together after her long time mourning. She was comfortable with the fact that everything happens for a reason and kept telling herself that her dad was a hero. She had heard rumors that he hadn’t simply been caught in crossfire and that he actually stood up to Hydra, which in turn, caused his death, and that was the story she took more comfort with so that was the one she wanted to believe. And oddly enough, she made a friend because of this. 

She had met her best friend, Quinn, at the spa. Quinn hadn’t treated her any differently after her father had died. Quinn later told her that it was because after her grandmother died she couldn’t stand the sympathy everyone gave her all the time. She wanted to feel normal again and that is exactly how she helped Angie through the last phases of her mourning process. They got very close after this, Angie even helping her secure a relationship with the man she had been admiring for months.

“Harry’s a great guy you should ask him out.” Angie told her as she flipped through a catalogue during the slow hours at work.

“I can’t do that.” Quinn said.

“And why not?”

“Because he’s the guy, he’s supposed to ask me out.” she said defiantly.

“Quinn, you’ve called yourself a ‘Baby feminist.’ What would your women’s studies professor say about that?” 

“You have a point.” she said touching her lips in thought. “But still, what if he says no.”

“Then he says no.” Angie said. “But he could also say yes.” she set her catalogue down and scooted closer to her. “What would you do if he said yes?” Quinn’s cheeks burned and she looked down defeated.

“You have a point.” she said quietly, looking down.

“Don’t I always.” she smiled proudly. “Tomorrow, you’re asking him out, no excuses.”

“Fine.” Quinn huffed. Angie smiled triumphantly and the rest is history. Of course Harry said yes because Quinn is a wonderful person, not to mention stunning. One night, after a particularly nice date with Harry, they were hanging out in Quinn’s apartment when she asked Angie if she liked anyone.

“Not at the moment no.” she said.

“There’s no one in your classes that you have a crush on?” she pressed.

“No one that’s caught my attention.” Quinn gave her a look like she didn’t believe her. “I have high standards okay? It’s gonna take a beefcake of a man to catch my attention.”

“Mark is a beefcake of a man and he’s single.” Quinn challenged.

“Yes but he’s an idiot. Conversations with him are like talking to a 13 year old.” Quinn laughed.

“So I guess he’s gotta be smart too?”

“Gotta be.” Angie confirmed.

“Well, whatever, my point is that when you find a guy worthy of the magnificent Evangeline Lily, let me know and I’ll help you out. I want you to be as happy as I am with Harry.”

“Thanks, that really means a lot.” she said.

Since then, with every male customer that walked into the spa, Quinn would ask: “What about him?” Angie would roll her eyes each time, trying to ignore her friend when eventually she’d had enough.

“Okay, if I find a potential candidate I’ll let you know, but until then, please stop.” she giggled at her friend who was still pointing to a tall skinny man with a trench coat who had come in to pick up his wife.

Even though she wasn’t entirely satisfied with life and wished she could still be with her dad, she was happy. Her friend was now her family and she couldn’t be more grateful for her.

Now, she struggled up the stairs holding two big brown bags of groceries and trying to balance them and fishing through her purse for her keys. She was able to grab them and yanked them out and in doing so all of her unused coupons fluttered to the floor. She huffed and jammed the key into the lock turning it. She normally needed two hands for this as she had gotten a new deadbolt lock that was much heavier than the original in an effort to feel more secure in her home, so she struggled while trying to get it turned. She was finally able to unlock her door and grabbed the knob and threw her body against the door to get it open, as the door likes to stick too. She kicked the door shut behind her and dropped the two bags on the counter with a sigh. She walked around the small room and turned all the lights on. 

Her apartment was just one room. A kitchen, living, dining, and bedroom all in one. The only other door in her apartment, besides the door to leave, was to a very small bathroom. She did her best to keep it clean and looking nice. She used only light colors in an effort to make it seem bigger and nicer than it was. She sat her purse down on her dresser and walked over to her kitchen and began to put her groceries away when she remembered her coupons on the floor in the hallway. She pulled open the door and got down on her knees picking them up. 

Suddenly she felt someone pull on her hair hard, forcing her head to look up and snapping her out of her thoughts. Her eyes landed on a large man with dark, matted hair, and sores all over his face. They looked to be the sores that druggies got on their trips. Her breathing increased and her heart pounded.

The back of the man’s hand met her cheek as he slapped her across the face. She cried out in pain as her vision blurred with tears from the sting. She blinked, trying to clear her vision and her mind from what was going on.

He used his other hand and grabbed her by the neck. He pulled her up off the ground and held her pinned to the wall. Her hands shot up to grip his wrist in an effort to try and ease his hold on her airway. She struggled for breath but cried out when she felt his other hand began unbuttoning her pants. She kicked and thrashed as much as she could but it only made him angrier so his grip on her throat tightened. She had no choice but to hold still so she could continue breathing and continue living, for whatever reason. 

“Good girl.” he snarled in her ear. She turned away from him in fear, disgust, and because his breath smelled rancid. His rotting teeth were probably the cause of that. She tried screaming out for help but she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs to be able to speak. She could feel her eyes bulging in her head and her face turning red from the lack of oxygen.

The man had gotten her zipper down and was about to begin pulling her pants down when suddenly another man grabbed her attacker and pinned him to the wall next to her. Her airway was finally free and she took a few deep breaths feeling the life come back into her body. She noticed the man who pulled her attacker away was her neighbor James. 

James had the man pinned by his throat, the way he had her pinned. James stood there and watched as the man continued to struggle for breath, but just before he would struggle no more she reached her arm out and touched his back.

“Don’t kill him!” she struggled to yell as her throat was sore from the man clenching his fist around it. James let go immediately and stared at her while the man struggled for breath.

He looked at her with wide eyes. They were filled with surprise and anger, and a hint of something else. Regret? He turned to look at the man holding onto his neck and coughing. The man looked at James who stood firm above him. The man, still coughing, scurried away. James then turned to leave to go into his apartment when she stopped him.

Her sobs stopped him. He felt her grab onto him and hug him from behind. He could feel her body shaking against his as she sobbed. He didn’t turn to look at her. He knew what she looked like. He could feel her emotions almost as if they were his own, because they had been his own. 

He had heard those sounds many times before. He knew them better than anyone. They were sounds he would make when he was left alone after a mission. The moments of clarity for him were just as awful as they were wonderful. Everything would come back to him and he could remember, but then he would realize where he was and what was going on and he would lose it. Her cries sounded exactly like his.


	2. Chapter 2

Once her cries had finally died down, she reluctantly let go of him. He turned to look at her as she stood motionless behind him. He turned back around and walked into his apartment. The sound of the door closing was deafening. She stood in the hallway by herself for a moment before she felt unsafe and ran into her own apartment. She ran into her bathroom and threw herself into her shower still fully clothed. She needed to wash away the feeling of his hands on her body. She struggled to take her wet clothes off under the spray of the shower but she eventually scrubbed her body so hard until she was glowing red. 

She got out of the shower and avoided looking into the mirror as she dried her body and her hair. She put on an over-sized sweater and sweatpants and grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. She sat on the edge of her bed staring at the floor. Numb. A chill went up her spine so powerful she stood up, walked out of her apartment and over to James’s where she found herself knocking on his door.

He opened it with a toothbrush in his mouth, looking at her expectantly. She couldn’t meet his gaze when she spoke.

“I-I-I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be alone.” she said softly. He stood still for a moment and she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I hardly know you, I’m sorry for bothering you.” she said and turned to walk away. She heard him clear his throat and turned back around to look at him. He stepped aside and opened his door a little wider, inviting her in. She gave him a soft smile that didn’t reach her eyes before ducking her head and walking in. He motioned to the small couch in front of his kitchen and she sat down.

Her body was still stiff with fear and anxiety, but she could feel the tension in her neck ease a little as she sat. She heard the water running in the bathroom and she could feel herself getting lost in the sound of his apartment. The creak of the floor as he moved throughout the bathroom, the sound of the wind outside his windows, the loud hum of the refrigerator and the groaning of the furnace doing it’s best to keep the apartment warm. Her eyelids grew heavy the longer she sat there, engrossed in the sounds. 

The sound of the water turning off jolted her fully awake. She suddenly realized he would be coming out soon and began to get nervous about what he would say. Would he kick her out? Would he want to talk? Would he not want to talk? Her thoughts rushed around in her brain until the door opened and her brain seemed to stop working altogether. 

He emerged wearing grey sweatpants and black long sleeve t-shirt. He wore a glove on his left hand as well. His muscles were very clearly outlined in the shirt and she could feel her face heating up as he approached her. He sat down on the floor in front of her. The small couch was too small for the both of them to have enough comfortable space to be on, what with him being massive and her blanket taking up a majority of the space.

“You can sit up here, I can move.” She said beginning to stand up. Her voice was still hoarse from the damage the man must have done to her vocal chords and her crying. She suddenly felt the skin on her neck throbbing. He put a hand up to stop her.

“It’s okay.” he said. She put a hand up to her throat trying to soothe the pain and slowly sat back down. “How are you feeling?” he asked, leaning back on his elbows. His t-shirt stretched deliciously across his chest and struggled to contain the bulging muscles of his biceps. The sleeve of his left arm rose slightly and a glint of something shiny flashed in her eyes. She didn’t think much of it, assuming it was a watch or a bracelet. 

“I uh,” she said roughly and cleared her throat. “I’ve been better.” she spoke more clearly, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. She looked up and blinked quickly in an effort to calm herself down. Once she was content with not crying she looked at him, he was already looking curiously at her. “Thank you, for saving me.”

He looked at her dumbfounded. He blinked in surprise and chuckled to himself.

“What?” she asked, a hint of a smile gracing her face. She had never seen him smile let alone had she heard him laugh.

“I just never thought I would hear those words.” he said, looking down in thought.

“I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t been there to save me.” she shook her head. 

“Well as long as you live in this building I can guarantee I won’t let anything happen to you.” he said. She smiled and looked down.

“Man, I really lucked out, I’ve got a bodyguard for a neighbor.” she said. He smiled shyly and looked up at her through his eyelashes. “Seriously though, I feel so safe with you here, this sounds dramatic, but you’re kinda my hero.” his eyes widened at that and his cheeks flushed. He cleared his throat and looked down. She noticed his discomfort and tried to backtrack. “I mean, I just,” she sighed. “I can’t thank you enough for that and for this right now.” He continued to look at her. They sat in silence for a moment. “Could you say something because I feel like if I do anymore talking I’m going to lose my voice then neither of us will be talking and we are just gonna be sitting here looking at each other and it’s probably going to get awkward.” she said with a shy smirk. He chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed and rubbed his hand over his face like he was tired. “I’ve just never been called a hero before. I’ve never considered myself to be a hero.” he said.

“What have you considered yourself to be?” she asked. He exhaled through his nose in thought.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had the privilege of considering myself to be anything. I used to think of myself one way I think, but I have a hard time remembering. I think I’m just trying to remember.”

“I know what you mean.” she said.

“You do?”

“Yeah, after my dad died, I didn’t know who I was, it’s like I lost myself and it took forever to get me back, but I think I’ve found her and I’m not half bad.” she smiled. “Did you lose someone too?” she asked him.

“What? Oh! Uh... yeah.” he said trying to be careful about what he gave away then sadly looking down. “I lost everyone.” he said quietly. She watched him. She watched the way his lip quivered and his jaw clenched. He looked into the distance again and she wondered what caused him to look to be in so much pain. She felt the overwhelming need to comfort him. She stood up and sat down next to him on the floor and threw the blanket over his shoulders while keeping it on her own. She put an arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him stiffen but he soon relaxed into her embrace and rested his head on hers.

“Thank you.” he said quietly.

“If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here for you.” she said.

“And if you ever need me to beat someone up for you…” he said with a half smile and she laughed. She turned to look at him and him at her. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment. She noticed his eyes flicked down to look at her lips and she couldn’t help but do the same. She looked back into his eyes and panicked. She cleared her throat, breaking them out of their heat and spoke. 

“Uh. Thanks again, for saving me and talking with me. I feel better.” she said beginning to stand up.

“You don’t have to leave.” he said hurriedly. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I mean, you can stay here, i-if you’re still scared.” he said, cheeks blushing and looking away.

“I wouldn’t want to impose.” she said, eyeing the small mattress in the corner of the room.

“I insist. You can take the bed I’ll sleep on the couch.” he nodded towards it.

“You’re much bigger than that thing you’d get no sleep at all.” she said. He looked down, feeling rejected.

“No, you’re right, it might be weird. I don’t even think I know your name.” he smiled gently. She smiled too.

“Evangeline, but my friends call me Angie.” he smiled at her shyly. “What’s yours?” she asked even though she knew the answer. He had never told her, she had only heard it the day he moved in and the landlord called him James.

“I’m James, but my friends call me Bucky.” 

“So what’ll it be?” she asked taking a step closer to him. He looked at her bemusedly. “Should I call you James, or Bucky?” her voice continuing to get more and more hoarse. He smiled brightly at her, it made her shiver.

“Bucky.” she smiled at him, but on the inside she was screaming.

“Well Bucky,” she said making her way towards the door and clearing her throat in an effort to talk better. “Thanks again for everything, and goodnight.” she reached up and kissed his cheek. He opened the door for her and watched her walk across the hall to her apartment.

“Goodnight Angie. Oh and,” she turned around and looked at him. “If you change your mind, it’s okay, I’d rather sleep on a tiny couch than have you be scared and alone.” she smiled at him. She mouthed, “Thank you.” to him as she had lost her voice and could no longer vocalize. He smiled at her and watched her open her door and disappear into her apartment. He waited for the click of her deadbolt before he closed his own door. He wandered over to the spot she had been sitting and sat down. He breathed in deeply and rubbed his face. What had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I can't believe you hit "next chapter" that is crazy to me. I genuinely hope you are enjoying reading this and I hope it is entertaining you. Again, if you desire to comment please be nice, and I am accepting all forms of advice as I only want to write the way that will satisfy you. With that being said, don't prepare for this story to be very satisfying. If you like a "happy ending" I'll tell you went to stop reading if you choose to read further because I wanted this story to be more realistic than anything and I just don't think Bucky at this time is ready for a fairy-tale.


	3. Chapter 3

“Angie slow down. What happened?” Angie took a deep breath, gripping her friend’s shoulder for support. Quinn could tell she was on the verge of an anxiety attack so she pulled her up and made her look at her. “Hey.” her breathing began slowing down already. Quinn lead her to sit down in her chair and she squatted next to her. She closed her eyes and took a few steadying breaths before she opened them and continued.

“Some man tried to rape me, but Bucky saved me.”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” she asked, pushing her friend’s hair out of her face.

“My neighbor, James. He said I can call him Bucky because we are friends now.” Quinn sat back on her heels in shock of what she had just been told.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah I’m fine. Bucky stopped him before anything happened. I think he was just going crazy on drugs. That’s still no excuse for someone to force someone else to, to…” her breathing picked up again. 

“Hey. Hey, you’re safe now, he’s not gonna hurt you. You know that Bucky is looking out for you. He doesn’t sound like the kind of guy who would let anything happen to you.” she assured her.

“Oh yeah,” Angie perked up. “I forgot, he isn’t. He offered to let me stay overnight in his apartment.” Quinn scoffed at this and Angie smiled knowingly. “Not for that, I could tell he genuinely wanted me to feel safe, there wasn’t a feeling of that at all.” she said. “I mean the guy tried to kill him to protect me.” Quinn blinked at her.

“He what?”

“Yeah, he was choking him the way the guy choked me but he wasn’t gonna stop so I had to stop him.”

“Don’t you find that a little alarming?” Quinn asked. 

“No, I’m sure I should but for some reason I don’t.” she thought. “He probably wouldn’t have followed through with it anyway, I could tell from the way he looked at me.” she looked off into the distance, remembering the look on his face when she had yelled at him to stop. Quinn smiled knowingly.

“Is it time?” Quinn asked. Angie blushed and looked down with a smile. Quinn squealed. “Yes! Finally a guy worthy of you!” she joked. The two girls laughed. Once they had calmed down Quinn cleared her throat. “But seriously, you’re okay after, after that?” she put a hand on Angie’s knee.

“Yeah, we can file a police report about the guy, but I’m not gonna have it out for him.”

“You’re too forgiving.” Quinn said. “What terrible creatures men are, thinking they can just take from us.” Angie chuckled.

“Your feminist is showing.”

“And that’s a problem?” Angie laughed.

“No, no, of course not. It’s absolutely necessary.”

“So what are you gonna do?” Quinn asked standing up and walking over to her side of the desk and sitting down in her chair, shuffling some paperwork around.

“About what?” Angie said organizing her own papers.

“About Bucky.”

“Oh.” she said highlighting something on a page. “Probably nothing.”

“What?” Quinn asked turning around in her chair to look at her friend.

“He just doesn’t seem like the type of guy to want a relationship.”

“Maybe not a relationship with just anyone, but you’re you!” she said stapling something. Angie laughed.

“I’m nothing special.” she said. Quinn opened her mouth in mock horror, trying to be dramatic.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.” she said. Angie laughed.

“I don’t know Quinn. He’s so attractive he’s way out of my league.” Angie said grabbing more papers.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that either. Angie, you’re one of the most beautiful girls I know.”

“Really, have you looked in the mirror?” Angie said.

“I have, that’s why I said ‘one of’.” Quinn said. Angie laughed loudly. “I just think you should try. You’re acting exactly the way I was with Harry and look where we are now.” Angie sighed.

“You’re right. What should I do?”

“Suck his dick.”

“Quinn!” Angie said horrified. Quinn laughed.

“I’m kidding, not entirely, but I don’t know, make him cookies or something.”

“Cookies?”

“Yeah why not? Everyone loves cookies.” Angie looked at her skeptically and smiled.

“I’ll think about it.”

“And do it quick, I want to know what this beefcake of a man is like in bed.”

“Quinn!” Quinn giggled.

“Oh come on. From the way you described him before he seems like the kinda guy who can go all night long.” she bit her lip.

“Now I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and also remind you that you have a boyfriend.”

“Yes I do. I’m trying to get you one too.” Angie sighed. She kept her eyes focused now on her computer screen. She needed to write an essay for next week but she couldn’t focus. All she could think about was Bucky and the way he’d feel on top of her, or under her. She rubbed her thighs together to ease the tension. “I used to do that too.” Quinn said without turning around from her desk. Angie’s head shot up and her face flushed a deep red. “Until I did something about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter one, but we will get into the good stuff next chapter. Again, I hope you are being entertained. Thank you so so much for taking the time out of your day for reading something I wrote.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get it on.

She couldn’t believe what she was doing. She pulled the cookies out of the oven and set them on the counter. She leaned against her countertop and rested on her elbows. 

“What am I doing?” she asked herself. She could hear Quinn’s voice in her head saying “Taking life by the balls.” and she rolled her eyes. She put the cookies in a container and made her way to Bucky’s door. 

She knocked lightly on the door and he answered it in seconds.

“Angie?” he asked surprised.

“Hi, I just wanted to bring these over to say thank you for everything.” he looked at her in shock, like he didn’t know what to do. He took the container from her and opened the lid to find a dozen cookies sitting in there. He looked back at her, still dumbfounded.

“You made these for me?” he asked. She smiled at his reaction.

“Yeah, it means a lot to me that you are looking out for me. Even after what happened I feel safer knowing you’re here.” she smiled shyly and looked down.

“Have you had some?” he asked referring to the cookies. She shook her head no and he stepped aside. “Well these smell amazing and I’d hate to deprive you of your own wonderful baking.” she took his invitation and stepped into his apartment. It felt different this time. It felt more homey than it should. This time though did she notice more details about the place. Like the newspapers taped to the windows and the lack of personal items like pictures. He had a bunch of notebooks strewn about the place, and while she was curious she respected his privacy. He motioned for her to sit on the small couch and this time, he sat next to her. She angled her body so she was facing him, sitting with her legs crossed. He grabbed a cookie out of the container and handed it to her and she took a bite. He grabbed one for himself and ate half the cookie in one bite.

She was looking down at the cookie in her hand when he let out a loud moan. Her head shot up to look at him as her cheeks flushed red as she had imagined him making that same sound but for a different reason.

“This is so good oh my god.” he moaned again and her cheeks flushed brighter. “I haven’t had anything home cooked in so long.” He looked at her suddenly, completely serious.

“Thank you.” he said looking her in the eyes. The intensity of his gaze made her heart flutter in her chest. Her eyes flicked down to his full lips then back up to his eyes, that were also looking down at her lips. He looked back up in her eyes and licked his lips. 

“You’re welcome.” she whispered while moving closer to him. She felt drawn to him, like she was the north pole and he was the south pole of a magnet, like it was in her nature to do nothing but connect with him.

She was breathing heavily against his mouth as she waited for him to close the distance and press his mouth against hers. But she grew impatient, her breathing continued to increase until she was heaving against his lips. She grabbed the back of his neck and brought him in the rest of the way. He immediately began kissing her back desperately. She whimpered at the feeling of finally having his mouth on hers and his hand shot to her waist grabbing her tightly. She struggled to move closer to him as having her legs crossed in front of her hindered her movement. He could tell she was struggling so he pulled away. He set the container of cookies behind him and grabbed the cookie she was still holding in her hand and put it in the container along with his own. He then grabbed her hips and lifted her with ease and placed her on top of him so she was straddling him. 

She moaned when their lips crashed again and he sighed into her mouth at the feel of her running her hands through his hair and gripping it at the nape of his neck, pulling his face back so she had more access to his mouth. His hands moved lower, to cup her curves and she felt her arousal pooling in her underwear. She moaned into his mouth and she brought her hands down to tug on his shirt, wanting it to come off. She began pulling it up when he pulled back from her, breathless.

“Wait.” he said. “I-I have a prosthetic arm.” he said searching her face.

“I don’t care.” she said, still in a daze from kissing him and leant in to continue doing so.

“No, wait.” she pulled back, more concerned this time. She didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. “It’s metal, I’ve got some nasty scars all the way up my shoulder.” he said. She cupped his face.

“It’s okay.” she said and slowly leaned back in. He leaned back in as well, his eyes fluttering shut at the feel of her caresses. He pulled his glove off while they kissed and gently touched her face with it. She jumped at the coldness of it and pulled back to look at it. She could feel his heart beating against hers and realized what a big step this must be for him. She took his hand in hers and brought it up to her lips and kissed it. He looked at her, lips slightly parted in awe. He suddenly reached for her and brought her closer to him, kissing her with renewed fervor. He ground her body onto his and she gasped when she felt him hard beneath her. She brought her hand to the hem of his shirt again and began tugging. This time, he obliged and rid himself of the garment. Her hands roamed his torso, growing more wet as she felt the hard planes of his body. 

He moaned into her mouth at the feeling of her hands and reached for the hem of her sweatshirt. She lifted her arms above her head, only parting their mouths to get the clothing on the ground. His hands felt around her back. He noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra and moaned again, bringing his hands between them to palm her breasts. She gasped into his mouth and he began pulling her nipples. She pulled away from him, she was getting dizzy from lack of oxygen and couldn’t concentrate on kissing when his fingers were making her feel that way. He took this opportunity to attack her neck with bites and kisses, licking his way down to her nipples and sucking on them. She arched her back, giving more of herself to him. She wound her fingers in his hair and tugged. 

He looked back up and kissed her mouth again. He stood up as they kissed and she kept her legs wrapped around his waist. He brought her over to the mattress in the corner of the room and laid her down underneath him. He began pulling down her leggings and underwear as they kissed, leaving her completely bare. He slowly brought his right hand against her chest and dragged it down her body. She shivered under him. Their tongues circled one another when he finally reached the spot that was aching so badly for him to touch. He palmed her and she gasped into his mouth. He felt around her opening, gathering up her wetness on his fingers and circling her clit. Her mouth stilled against his, lips parted in pleasure as she moaned softly at the feeling.

He breathed heavily into her mouth, feeling himself becoming harder. She was so wet, for him. It didn’t make sense.

He continued his slow circles over her clit and her breathing picked up, her whimpers becoming more and more desperate.

“More.” she said breathless against his lips. He brought his fingers lower, teasing her entrance. Her hips bucked up and he smirked. She whimpered one more time before he showed mercy and slowly pushed his fingers inside her. She moaned softly into his ear as his head dipped down to kiss her neck. 

He slowly pumped his fingers in and out of her, driving her mad. His pace slowly increased as her cries continued to rise in desperation.

“Mmmm, Bucky.” she moaned in his ear. With that he lost it. He stood up, ripping off his own jeans and boxers and stood before her naked. She eyed his erection, pointing to the sky proudly. He was easily the biggest she’d ever seen and she could feel herself getting wetter in preparation. 

“Condoms.” she said breathless. He looked at her confused until he understood what the word meant and ran over to a drawer and grabbed a square foil package. He gently tore it open and placed the condom on himself. He then got back on top of her and kissed her deeply.

“Okay?” he asked, wanting confirmation.

“Okay.” he slowly pushed inside her and she moaned loudly at the feeling. He grunted when he was fully in and his body shivered involuntarily.

“God, you’re so tight.” he said in a pained voice. She shuddered.

“You’re so big.” she managed. He slowly began to move inside her and she could already feel her orgasm building, as he had prepped her oh so well with his hand. “I’m not gonna last long.” she said, voice straining in her throat.

“Me neither.” he began to pick up speed, pounding harder and harder into her. She moaned loudly, not caring if she was being too loud. He was grunting as well, letting himself get lost in the feeling of her. Her breasts were bouncing in tandem with his harsh thrusts as her body was jerking violently from the force of him. Quinn was right, this was a beast of a man and she wanted nothing more than to stay in the moment with him forever. He hit a particular spot inside of her that made her gasp in a high pitched tone.

“Oh my god.” she said. He stopped abruptly, worried he had hurt her. He looked at her with his eyebrows knitted in concern. She shook her head. “No, oh my god you feel so good, ple-” he cut her off with more thrusts, pounding a spot inside her she had never felt before. She let out a loud, high pitched whine and arched her back, her arms reached up above her to brace herself against the wall and allowing him to thrust in harder. He smirked at her and leant down to suck on her nipples as her positioning made them stick out to make them look even more inviting. She moaned loudly at this and pulled him away from her breasts to kiss him roughly, teeth and tongues clashing together in a sweaty passionate exploration.

With each thrust she could feel herself clenching tighter and tighter around him. The fire burning in her stomach didn’t seem to want to cease. He brought her closer and closer with each thrust to that edge of bliss. She never crossed it though. It felt like forever that she was teetering on the edge and it was absolute bliss. It was the beginning of an orgasm that never ended. He eventually reached down and began rubbing her clit harshly.

“Come on baby, I’m right behind you.” he said. And with that she came. She sucked in a deep breath and her head thrust back into the mattress beneath her. Her body contracting harshly with each spasm of her pleasure, moaning loudly as all the tension released from her body. She was aware that he was cumming too, and he bit her shoulder as his hips stuttered on top of her. 

They finished at the same time and he collapsed next to her. Both of them breathing deeply and quickly in sync with one another. Once their breathing slowed he got up and threw away the condom while she laid there, eyes closed, with a hint of a smile on her face.

“What?” he asked laying back down next to her and wrapping an arm around her and scooting her closer to him.

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s just been a while.” he laughed and she turned to look at him. He quickly retracted, not wanting to offend her.

“No no, it’s just been a while for me too is all. Longer than you know.” he brought her closer to him and kissed her temple. She began to wiggle in his embrace until he moved his arm and she started getting up. “You don’t have to leave.” he said eyebrows knitted together.

“I know, I just have to pee.” he laughed as she made her way over to his bathroom. She relieved herself and washed her hands and fixed her hair, then came back out and snuggled up next to him.

“What should I call you now?” he asked once she had gotten settled between his arms.

“What do you mean?”

“You said your friends can call you Angie, but what about more than friends, what do they get to call you?” her heart fluttered at his question.

“You can call me whatever you want.” she turned to face him and kissed his lips gently. He thought for a moment.

“My Evangeline.” he said. She giggled. “What?”

“That’s just my name.”

“No, I said my Evangeline.” she looked up into his sparkling eyes and he repeated himself. “My Evangeline.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter you should end with if you want a "happy" ending. However, if you want to see where the story leads, please, keep reading. It is not a sad ending by any means though. This next chapter I think is some of my best work (out of the very few things I've written, some of which have yet to be posted), so it would be awesome if you did keep reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality checks.

She had spent most of her time in the next few months in his apartment. Even though her apartment was nicer and slightly bigger, she liked his better. Everything about it reminded her of Bucky and she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She still didn’t know much about him, no matter how much she asked he wouldn’t budge. He would get offended or just simply not answer her questions.

She was concerned that she knew nothing about him. She would have moments where she would sit in his apartment and look around. She knew why she was in this building living in her crappy apartment, because she couldn’t afford much being in school and working at the spa. She knew Bucky wasn’t in school, he looked too old for it, but not too old for her. He looked to be in his late 20’s, but the way he carried himself and spoke made him seem much older than he was. It reminded her of something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

Her grandfather had died when she was young so she didn’t have many memories of him but they came back vividly when Bucky told a story. It was like smelling a scent that reminds you of something very specific and takes you back to that exact moment. 

That was another thing though, she didn’t even know his age, or even his last name. She knew his first name is really James but ‘Bucky’ isn’t a nickname for James. So, she assumed his nickname came from another part of his name or from a person in his life who called him that for no reason and it just stuck. 

She was at his counter making dinner when she asked where he got it from and he said it was a nickname just like Angie is hers. 

“Yeah but Angie is short for Evangeline.”

“Bucky is short for James.” he said. She laughed.

“No it isn’t.”

“Well you know what else Evangeline is short for?” he said moving closer to her, his voice dropping in pitch.

“What’s that?”

“Sexy.” she giggled again as his eyes darkened with lust.

“No it’s not.” she said. He nodded his head, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her body against his. “I just want to know how you got it.” she said closing her eyes and forgetting the food on the counter and tilting her head to give him more room as he inhaled deeply against the crook of her neck. He hummed against her neck as he began kissing it and she sighed.

“Well I know how you got yours.” he whispered in her ear and she forgot what had lead to him giving her three orgasms that night. 

That was their routine. She would ask a question that he didn’t want to answer, or couldn’t, so he would distract her with something else, mostly it was sex. Sometimes they would end up getting in a fight over it and it would create tension for a little bit, but she would always give in. She was in too deep with this relationship having not felt this close to someone in such a long time, she didn’t want to give it up. So she settled for him. Time and time again. Even though she wanted someone who would be more open with her in the back of her mind she worried she would never find anyone who was as interested in her as Bucky was, even if it wasn’t as interested as she would like him to be. 

She knew she loved him more than he loved her, if he even did at all, she didn’t even know if he was capable of love.

One of the worst fights they had had happened one night after they had just finished their second round of passionate love making he had initiated to make her forget her questions and she brought it up again, wanting to be more persistent.

“I still don’t know what you do for a living.” she said, tracing patterns in his skin with her finger as they lay in his bed with their legs tangled together.

“Why do you want to know?” he asked. She scoffed.

“A person’s career says a lot about them.” she argued. “I just want to know you better.”

“Okay, so what does you being a receptionist say about you?” her jaw opened in shock and offense. She pulled back from him and grabbed the blanket, covering herself as she sat up.

“Excuse me?” he turned to look at her.

“You just said a person’s job says a lot about them so what does being a receptionist say about you?”

“I said ‘career’ not ‘job’. There’s a difference.”

“And that is?”

“I don’t plan on being a receptionist for forever, a career you do for forever.”

“What do you want to do for forever?” he asked, trying to keep the subject away from himself. He wanted to try to seduce her to make her drop the subject but he was tired and she was clearly not in the mood. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling bringing his arm behind his head.

“Don’t turn this on me, we’ve talked about this also so thanks for showing me how much you listen, it really means the world to me.” she said sarcastically and got up and began putting her clothes on, angrily. 

“I do listen.” she raised her eyebrows, challenging him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“You want to be a social worker and help kids who struggle because they’ve lost parents.” she blinked, her anger melting away. Even though it wasn’t much and he said this like a worker at a fast food restaurant would ask “Would you like fries with that?” it still made her feel better because he always gave her so little that the smallest amount of something other than sex made her feel like she was getting somewhere with him. “I listen, I like listening more than talking, that’s why I don’t like answering your questions.”

“But you can’t just tell me what you do? It makes me worried that you don’t want to tell me. What if you’re like a serial killer.” His jaw clenched and he looked away.

“I think you should sleep at your place tonight.” he said looking at the wall.

“Bucky-”

“No, you can stay if you drop the subject, but I am not talking about this anymore, not now or ever.” he said glaring at her. She put her hands out and reached towards him.

“Okay, okay I’ll drop it.” she said laying down next to him and hugging him. They sat like that for a moment, thinking, and holding each other. “I just hope you’re safe and happy. That’s all.” he sighed. She had a feeling she’d eventually find out what he did and more of who he was, but it probably wouldn’t be from him.

“I am.” he said the words but he didn’t believe them. If there was a spectrum of being sad and happy he was in between the two. He couldn’t figure out how he felt. He had felt this way since he escaped, but he couldn’t put a word to it. It’s not like he never had emotions though. He’d have moments where he would be happy, like when Angie laughed hard at something he said and her smile lit up her whole face, making her cheeks flush and her eyes crinkle, or moments he would feel content, like when Angie was sleeping and he would count the freckles scattered across her nose and listen to her steady breathing. And moments where he would be sad, like when Angie had a dream about her father and woke up missing him with tears streaming down her cheeks. 

She could tell he didn’t mean the words either, so she held him a little tighter. A tear ran down her cheek in sympathy. What had happened to this poor man to make him so miserable and unwilling to share anymore information about himself than he had to? She laid against him, her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat a constant rhythm in time with his breathing. She stared off into the distance, absorbing his emotions and taking them as her own. There wasn’t much there. Numb, numb is how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still hope you are enjoying reading. Any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated if you'd like to leave a nice comment. Only one chapter left!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would recommend watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7gpMH9iAqA after this chapter. I also don't know how to link stuff here properly yet as this is my first time using this site so please forgive me if I did that wrong.

She was getting desperate to find out more about him. In the rare moments she would find herself alone in his apartment she was tempted to open one of the many notebooks he had thrown everywhere. She never would though because even though he knew how much she wanted to know more about him, he clearly trusted her to not go snooping around his apartment or he would have kept them hidden. Right? Or maybe he had never considered that, maybe he didn’t think about her when she wasn’t there. She had a sinking feeling that she wasn’t his first priority.

One day, her resolve broke. He had left earlier in the day. She had spent the night and woke up to him wearing her favorite red henley and a black hat. He looked so handsome that day.

“Where you going, heartbreaker?” she asked standing up, still naked and wrapping her arms around him and kissing his lips slowly.

“Farmer’s market, I want to get you some plums so you can make that pie you’ve been telling me about.” he kissed her back. She hummed against his mouth.

“I’ll see you later tonight then, after I get off work?” she asked him. He nodded and gave her a quick kiss.

Then he left.

The second the door clicked shut she threw some clothes on and tried to calm her beating heart. She was nervous. She knew it was wrong to invade his personal space, but she just didn’t care anymore. She looked around the apartment for a notebook and found one sitting on top of the fridge. She grabbed it and took a deep breath. She could feel her heart beating in her ears. She heard a sound from the hallway making her jump and she quickly put the notebook back. She put two granola bars on top of it to make it seem like it hadn’t been touched.

She took a deep breath and decided against trying it further. She made her way out of his apartment to hers to get ready for work.

She never went back to that apartment. She’d had to move in with Quinn as the building had been so badly destroyed in the fight and the owner couldn’t pay for it so the city had to shut the building down.

She had been distraught for a long time. She felt like such an idiot for not putting two and two together, the name, the arm especially, and the secrecy.

She had all the information in the world about her mystery man and she didn’t want it anymore. She finally understood everything and it killed her to know the man she cared so much about was in such pain for decades. She wished she had treated him better, but how could she have known? She still wished she could take all his pain away, but she understood now why he was so distant and that helped her sleep better at night. He didn’t know who he was, he couldn’t answer those questions. The only ones he knew for sure were the ones he’d answer. He knew his name, but he couldn’t remember where it came from.

She had been able to get in touch with Captain America himself through connections of her late father. Bucky had even told Steve about her. She teared up when she heard that. He told her that he was in Wakanda where a “team of experts” were healing him. She didn’t know what that entailed but she was just happy that he was finally finding himself and maybe if they ever saw each other again he’d be able to answer those questions. Even though she already knew the answers now, she wanted to hear him say it.

It all had to start with himself though. He needed to accept the help. He wanted to be a better him, he wanted to find himself. Just like she had to do when she lost herself because she lost her father. Just like the druggie who had attempted to rape her had to do.

After her phone call with Steve she had gone for a walk past the old apartment building, needing to clear her mind, and she saw him. She would never be able to forget that face. It still haunted her late at night when she would wake up screaming as she relived it. He was talking to a woman who was smiling and blushing happily at him. His face was clear of cuts and sores and his teeth were much cleaner. They had made eye contact and she watched him swallow hard as his jaw tightened in regret.

Her heart race increased rapidly in fear, but she had to remind herself that she didn’t have to forgive him even if he apologized. What he did to her has no excuses, but she was happy for him, just as she was happy for Bucky. No matter how deep you find yourself in the hole of loss and depression you always have the ability to dig yourself out. It takes a lot of hard work and effort and setbacks to learn from, but eventually, if you work hard enough, you’ll find a shovel in a friend or family member to help you climb out faster. She didn’t have to forgive what he did to get in the hole or what he did there, but she could respect the climb back out.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to be as respectful as I could with the idea that the main character was almost raped at the beginning. My goal was to make parallels between Bucky and the druggie and if she can forgive her assailant that Bucky can be forgiven as well, but keeping with the theme of being realistic, women who have been raped do not have to forgive. So I tried to do something different by talking about people being allowed to try and better themselves. I tried to do this with as much grace as I could so if I offended anyone I am truly and deeply sorry and that was not my intention whatsoever. To reiterate my point I made in the chapter however, everyone has been at a low point in their lives and have done somethings they probably have not been proud of, I know I have, but that is no excuse to being a bad person. The only thing you can do is to learn from it and better yourself. Anyways, I am rambling. I hope you enjoyed reading my first published story and hopefully you'd like to read more from me. If so, please comment with any suggestions of things you'd like to see, or message me? I don't know how this site works quite yet too so if I make any mistakes please forgive me. Thank you for reading!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story I've published on this site. I'm working on another, much longer story that has yet to be completed. This is a test so please be nice if you feel the desire to comment. I would love advice or constructive criticism and please if you have a request for a story let me know! I just want to give people the joy of reading something they love. I've been reading things on here for a long time before I felt the desire to write something of my own and it is incredibly rewarding. So I'm here to please you if you give me the honor of trusting me to write something you have always wanted to read. No judging here! I hope you enjoy this little story.


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